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I Can't Believe She Did That!: Why Women Betray Other Women at Work, by Nan Mooney
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I CAN T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT! offers a new and compelling perspective on conflict and competition among women in the workplace. Nan Mooney explores how and why some women hurt each other on the job, and what we can do to begin cleaning up the mess. Based on real stories from real women, I CAN T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT! provides a provocative social and cultural exploration of the often troubled and painful dynamics that unfold among women on the job.
The massive influx of women into the workplace in the past thirty years means a whole new category of problems has arisen. Suddenly women are working over, under and alongside other women. Their professional relationships are subject to the pressures and conflicts of organizational culture, not to mention society at large. Women on the job have grown more comfortable with ambition, competition and success, but that hasn t negated the value they place on communication and relationships, on being liked and being nice. Striking a balance between these two selves is a delicate undertaking and many women are uncertain how to interact in a workplace where such lines are regularly being blurred.
Working together, women have fostered a breathtaking degree of positive change. But there is another side to the story. If women are to continue moving forward, the time has come to examine honestly and unequivocally our very human impulse to compete with, hurt and even destroy one another to get what we want. In I CAN T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT! Nan Mooney provides vivid insights on the emotional toll competition can take on working women and charts a path towards more productive and fulfilling relationships for professional women everywhere.
- Sales Rank: #1453437 in Books
- Published on: 2005-10-01
- Released on: 2005-09-15
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x 1.12" w x 5.72" l, 1.10 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 288 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Mooney, whose well-received memoir, My Racing Heart (HarperCollins, 2002), about the world of thoroughbred horse racing, now examines a more vicious race-women versus women in the workplace-offering a vibrant, studied counterpoint to a touchy subject that's been fodder for many novels of the The Devil Wears Prada persuasion. The prickly dynamics that often develop between women in the workplace-both the subtle stabs-in-the-back and outright executive hair-pulling-are essentially tied up in our society's definition of what it means to be feminine, says Mooney; even though women have "grown more comfortable with ambition, competition, and success," they still place great value on "communication and relationships, on being liked and being nice." Mooney visits a broad range of offices from all over the country, and the voices of these "scientists, social workers, waitresses, lawyers, bankers, soldiers, editors, salespeople, athletes, and schoolteachers" resonate with the same frustrations, disappointment, feelings of betrayal and guilt, and reveal both patterns of behavior (such as "looking clean and dealing dirty" and "the new tokenism") and longstanding issues that affect interaction between women at work (physical attractiveness, work-life balance, race and class issues, and age differences). Any woman who's felt the sting of a workplace snub will appreciate this long overdue book and its jaw-dropping anecdotes about conniving, clawing and incredulous women.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
There is, unfortunately, a well-documented issue in business called the queen bee syndrome: businesswomen in high-level positions don't reach out to help others climbing the career ladder. Think no further than the behavior of Omarosa, one of the candidates on Trump's The Apprentice series. Mooney, who is not a psychologist by training, takes the time and considerable effort to uncover reasons behind a more general trend--female competition in the workplace. Through a targeted questionnaire, one-on-one interviews, and secondary research, Mooney reveals a variety of corporate conflicts attributable to gender betrayal, such as passive-aggressive moves to undercut colleagues or very different work attitudes. Mooney also discusses the power of the office romance (practiced by some eight million Americans each year). In the end, the recommended solution is heavily dependent on individual change: to acknowledge conflict, behave ethically, help change social policy and media scrutiny, and show respect. Sound like the Ten Commandments? Barbara Jacobs
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
"No one has taught us women how to interact with each other in the competitive world of office politics, and as a result we often botch things up. But thanks to Nan Mooney's thoughtful guidance, we can become comfortable with conflict and competition in our professional relationships...so that we can all succeed with grace and without guilt. Leora Tanenbaum, author of CATFIGHT : Rivalries Among Women From Diets to Dating, From the Boardroom to the Delivery Room
"Nan Mooney's I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT! is unafraid to focus productively upon the "dark" or often hidden side of sisterhood in the workplace. Her approach is matter-of-fact, practical, and easy to understand. Acknowledging and satisfying one's competitive drives and one's desire for intimacy are difficult issues to resolve. Read this book. It will help you in your relationships with other women, both at work and everywhere else." --Phyllis Chesler, Ph.D Author of Woman's Inhumanity to Woman and The Death of Feminism: What's Next in the Struggle for Women's Freedom
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